WHY NOT?

Many of us have heard the story of the philosophy student who got an A+ on his exam when he answered the professors exam question, "Why?" with the simple answer of , "Why not?" When I think about everything Lauren has gone through, everything we have gone through, I tend not to ask why, but more, why not?

Our cardiologist told us that ALCAPA is a condition that affects 1 in 300000 children. That is pretty much one baby a year born in Canada. Why not Lauren? She fits that criteria.

This has been so hard to watch her go through these surgeries but how can I ask why? At least she had a condition that was operable and allowed her to keep her own heart, rather than be placed on a waiting list for someone else's heart.

Every time we have gone to the hospital it seems that we end up with some sort of emergency surgery for Lauren to have to go through. But another way to look at it is that every time she has needed a surgery, something (God) has brought us to the hospital just when we need to be there.

Matt and I struggled when I was trying to become pregnant. At one point, I was told that I wouldn't be able to have a baby. We tried fertility medication and it didn't work at first. One morning while eating breakfast and reading the Bible, the story of Sarah came into my mind and I heard the Lord tell me that I was ready. Sarah waited a hundred years to have her first child and sometimes it seemed like it took that long for me to get pregnant too. When you want to get pregnant it is the first thing you think about when you wake up and the last thing you think about when you go to bed at night. Oh, and all those hours in between are filled with it as well. Exactly two weeks after that morning, I was pregnant.

When Lauren was on the heart bypass machine (ECMO) and her heart was still in her chest, Matt and I felt like God was in complete control. Our child was laid out and we had to trust that God would rescue her. That trust is so hard and I have to admit that sometimes I doubted. Thankfully God doesn't expect me to be perfect.

Instead of why, why not reminds me that we are so blessed. I don't believe in luck (especially when I'm playing the worst game in the world - Yatzee - and I can't roll a six to save my life), but I do believe in blessing. We are so blessed to have a daughter in her crib, with the potential for a healthy heart. Things could have been so much worse. Praise the Lord that he brought us to the hospital right when Lauren needed it and had the exact people there that could save her life. Praise the Lord that when Lauren wakes up every 15 minutes, I can tell her in a happy whisper that she's driving me crazy. And I appreciate every minute of the crazy that she brings to my life.