18.1.13

SLEEPING ANGEL

Yesterday morning I had a commentary running through my head. It was spoken by the man with the soft voice who seems to do all the nature channel commentaries.

"The sleeping beast has yet to wake. Usually upon entering into her lair, the Lauren's eyes will fly open and zero in on her prey. In this rare instance the door opening has not woken her. The mommy prey sneaks into the Lauren's territory, camera in hand. Will she be able to escape safely after having stolen a picture? She is almost never successful. But wait! She has done it. The mommy breathes a sigh of relief as she slides out of earshot of the still sleeping Lauren."














Lauren is such a light sleeper that I can't get any of those beautiful photographs that moms seem to have of their angels in bed. Now I'm just thankful for each and every moment that she is sleeping comfortably.

Before Lauren's first surgery, she was consistently sleeping through the night but that all changed after the first surgery. The problem was exacerbated by the second surgery and she started to wake constantly, every 30 or 45 minutes, with terrors and nightmares. It was so hard to watch her go through that and to fight to comfort her back to sleep.

The hospital told us that children who go through cardiac surgery often go backwards in things like sleeping and potty training. It is hard to remember that even though Lauren is an 11 month old baby and should be able to sleep longer than two hours at a time, she essentially has newborn sleeping habits. When she is up and active she is catching up so fast, but the sleep seems to be lagging.



That being said, last night Lauren slept from 2am to 6am uninterrupted. I actually woke up at 6am a little bit panicked because I hadn't heard from her (flashback to when she first did that at a few months old). And then she slept again until almost 9am. It was amazing.

It is hard to be "on" for almost a year, 24 hours a day. I would pay good money for a full night of sleep. And if you know me, you know that is saying a lot because anything I can do myself to save a bit, I do. However, I know for now I can't pay anyone to do this for me. Lauren doesn't wake up because she wants to see my beautiful middle of the night face, she wakes up because she is hungry. Again, this is something that an 11 month old baby shouldn't be doing but right now my baby has some special needs. So, for now, while she needs it, I will cater to those special needs. I won't expect her to be a regular 11 month old baby because she hasn't had a regular 11 months. At night she will be my huge newborn baby and during the day she will continue to wreak havoc on my house, the dog and myself as she blossoms into a curious, strong willed and intrepid little baby explorer.


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