Looking back on the past 5 weeks it all seems like such a blur. The first time we were here, with no idea that Lauren had a heart condition until it was too late, God provided us with such miracles and peace at a time when things seemed so bleak. He gave us more than we could have imagined possible. It was so easy to give the Lord praise in the wake of such awesome healing and obvious miracles.

We got home and thought we were scott free.

The Lord had other plans. We thought that we had dealt with everything that we could handle but we were challenged to deal with more. The shock of Lauren's unexpected second heart crisis and second emergency surgery was so overwhelming. It was often so hard to claim healing for Lauren like we had the first time that she went through it. It is in that place of exhaustion, when you are certain that you can't handle anymore that you realize that sometimes you have to.

This second surgery has not had the amazing miracles of the last one, but, like I said to Matt, it has had everyday, more subtle miracles. It has been harder to trust in the Lord this time but pushing through and holding strong to our faith, even when it wasn't easy, has made our faith so much stronger. While we were crying out to God when Lauren was still really struggling for days after her second surgery, Matt and I clung to the words of 1 Peter 1:7 - "These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith - of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by the fire - may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed." As we get ready to go home again I hope that we have given all the praise, honor and glory to the Lord because he has been more than revealed through this process!

I was asked if I was mad at God for having us go through this again but that is not a feeling that has crossed my mind. Matt and I have never had more conversations with each other or others about God. I would have been embarrassed to write or talk so much about God before this and now I do openly. When I wake up in the morning I look at my daughter and I say to the Lord, "Thank you for this gift." I pray that I continue to see each day as a gift and live in a constant state of thankfulness. After this it will be hard to take things for granted again.

God has used Lauren for so much: to bring people closer to Him and closer to each other, to strengthen us and our trust in Him, and to soften our hearts to the needs of others around us. I know that this is not the end of His plans for her. I can't wait to see what else her future will bring!

We will just continue to take it one day at a time.


  1. What an inspiring post Amanda. Thank you.

  2. Matt and Amanda: I assure you of the love we have for you and Lauren. Amidst such a difficult time you have show your strength in the Lord, the joy that surpasses understanding, pure parental love and great Faith. I'm honoured to pray for you and hope for a full restoration. May God continue to turn this bad into good. In this testing time I give you the hope in Isaiah 43,

    "But now thus says the LORD,
    he who created you, O Jacob,
    he who formed you, O Israel:
    “Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
    I have called you by name, you are mine.
    When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
    and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;
    when you walk through fire you shall not be burned,
    and the flame shall not consume you." (Isaiah 43:1-2 ESV)


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