When Lauren first had her heart stop and she was in surgery, Matt fell apart. My response to the situation was shock and his was an outpouring of tears. I was so afraid that we would lose our little girl and I would lose him. In the middle of it all, we promised each other that regardless of the outcome, we would go through this together and we would be together after. Praise the Lord that we didn't have to deal with losing our child but this is still the hardest thing that our marriage has gone through.

That being said, I could not have asked for a better partner. When one of us is struggling, the other is the support that we need. During our time in the hospital we would make a point of going on walks outside and talking about each day. We started to enjoy simple things like stepping on dry leaves and hearing each loud satisfying crunch. We became such a team and made a point of spending time together and doing daily tasks together. It was so easy to become immersed in our own worlds and we made a point of trying to stay in the world together. We would pray every night and that was one of the highlights of our time in the hospital because we were coming to God hand in hand.

Since we've been home, we have had to support each other in different ways. Our roles in the house have changed. My role has become trying to help Lauren get as healthy as possible and Matt's role has become making that focus possible. He has stepped in and done the dishes, vacuuming, and straightening up. He pushes the laundry through and does the errands outside of the house. This is all on top of going to work and doing all of the things around the house that he did before. I like to feel like I'm doing just as much work as he is and it is hard for me to do that while seeing him do so much. Right now our roles in the house aren't equal but they are complimentary. As Matt said to me, he is doing the things around the house because I'm doing baby stuff day and night. He is so encouraging and understanding and sees what I am doing as harder than what he is doing. He has told me that not only have I saved Lauren's life by pushing and bringing her to the hospital but that I am giving her life each and every day that I dedicate myself to her. To have him standing beside me during that is such a gift. 

I am so blessed to have a partner in life like my husband. He is an amazing Dad and an amazing husband and it means the world to me each and every time I see Lauren give him a smile. When we were married I knew that he was placed in my life by God and each day I am reminded of that. 


  1. Amanda and Matt, I praise God for the way that he has preserved you together during this difficult time. I'm so grateful that you turned to God, that is the best place to go. May God continue to strengthen you, in your marriage and individually. May God continue to bring healing to Lauren. How is she sleeping these nights?

    1. She typically sleeps for one and a half hours at a time. It is not too bad because usually she just needs a feed and then falls back to sleep but sometimes she gets confused and thinks it is playtime. That is when earplugs come in handy :)


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