This morning we followed the doctor's orders and tried to give Lauren some rice cereal. She got dressed up in her Halloween bib and was eager to eat.

She was doing better than I thought she would and was grabbing the spoon herself. Suddenly, she gagged and vomited up a small amount of food. That triggered her vagal response and her body went stiff and then she passed out. It took a few seconds for her to come back (long enough for me to yell for Elysha to call 911) and when she came around she was very pale and tired. Within minutes our living room was full of firefighters and paramedics. 

Based on Lauren's history and her loss of consciousness they loaded her in the ambulance and brought her to Children's Hospital. She seemed to get back to her smiley self halfway there and spent the rest of the drive charming the attendants. 

Matt got to the hospital in record time and by that time Lauren was busy grabbing her toes and squealing. In a stroke of genius, Elysha brought "Secret of the Wings". This seems to be the only commercial that Lauren loves so I bought the DVD at Costco the other day. I think Matt loved the movie too!

Lauren had an ECG done. The technician gave her a pack of cards and apparently they were delicious so she was nice and still for the test.

We tried giving Lauren some more solid food while we were at the hospital. Of course, she was okay. No gagging, nothing. It is kind of frustrating that she was fine with it after having such a strong and scary reaction at home. I kind of want to pack her high chair into my car and start feeding her just outside of the emergency room. Crazy? I guess so.

Lauren was discharged in the afternoon and she had just enough time to get changed into her Halloween outfit and go and watch the Halloween parade of the hospital patients. It was so great to see the kids getting to dress up and enjoy Halloween even though they are stuck in the hospital. The hospital staff went all out too and lined the halls for the children to feel incredibly special. Another reason that I am the staff's hugest fan!

Lauren took a little rest on the couch when we got home. Days when we go to the hospital or have doctor's appointments are tough on Lauren because they throw off her nap schedule. She spent her "nap" at home rolling around in her crib and swinging the animals on her mobile around above her head.

Matt sat her down and they carved two pumpkins for Lauren. She was fascinated!

 And then she got her hands on the battery powered candles and her mind was blown!

Lauren loved her heart Halloween pumpkins. I'm glad that she ended the day with something that she really enjoyed.

It is a huge relief that we are back home tonight but I swear that every time we take the drive to the hospital, I lose a year off of my life. Driving in an ambulance probably took 7.29 years off of my life. That is a lot of time so far. 

It is exhausting to live in this place of uncertainty. When Lauren went rigid in my arms this morning, I was thrown back to the very first time that we brought her into the hospital. I actively try to push away the memory that is seared into my brain when she first arrested. She was in my arms, started to choke, went rigid as I looked into her eyes, and then had to have her heart restarted while I shrieked in the hallway and Matt lay on the floor praying. One day there will be a time when these memories become a little bit blurry but right now they are sharp in a way that cuts me every time. I need time to breathe. 

God promises that he won't give us more than we can handle. Sometimes I get overwhelmed with everything that is going on. But watching the Halloween parade of kids in the hospital today reminded us that we are still so blessed. We ended the day at home with our baby. Lauren's heart is better than it was two months ago. She is developing and she loves life. 

We are so blessed. 

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