FROM DUMBO TO MY FUTURE TEENAGER

When I was little my ears stuck out. They didn't just stick out a little, they STUCK OUT. Think Dumbo. I never heard a word about my ears from my parents, but the first moment that I told them that a kid at school  was making fun of my ears, I was taken to a plastic surgeon and they were pinned. No, my parents weren't into plastic surgery for a kid. I had no other "work" done. My ears stuck out because I was born without a fold in my them so it was considered a birth defect. When Lauren was born, the first thing that I said when I saw her was, "Her ears don't stick out!" since I knew that could easily be passed on to her (it seems ironic now that I was concerned about that birth defect...).

My parents knew from day one that my ears weren't right but they never once said anything to me about it. As a parent, I know that when they looked at me they probably didn't see what was imperfect about me, because they were looking at the child that they loved.

When I look at Lauren, as she runs around the house in only her diaper, I see her fluffy hair with the beginning wisps of curls, her huge proud smile and her round belly on top of two skinny little legs. I don't see the scar that runs down the length of her chest. However, looking through the eyes of others, I know that it is there.

My desire for Lauren is that she sees the scar as a reminder of her strength and the amazing work of God in her life. However, I know that she might not want it to be such a red reminder, so we got some Silicone Scar Strips from the States and we have been using those for the last 6 weeks.

I actually had a hard time purchasing them, and not because they are crazy expensive, but because I don't ever want Lauren to think that I don't think she is absolutely beautiful just as she is. When I see her, I don't see her scar. But we are so much harder on ourselves. I know that when I look in the mirror, I often focus on the things that I see that are "wrong" with myself and as much as I would like Lauren to live differently, I know that what we want for our children isn't always the way that it goes. When she is a teenager, she probably won't want to rock an angry red scar - a light one will be much easier to wear as a badge of courage.

Even though I gave in and we are using the Scar Strips, I know that Lauren is remarkably beautiful just the way she is. The Scar Strips will not take away the scar completely, but they will help with the redness and the keloid scarring that has developed over the pacemaker incision. Her scar is the length of my hand, and it always will be, but it doesn't need to look so mad. She also has other small scars to either side of the incision from the drainage tubes and the wires that were attached to her heart. Praise the Lord for all of the things that the hospital is able to do!

For a total of 12 weeks, Lauren wears the scar strips 23 hours a day with bath time being the only time that it comes off. However, Lauren tries to extend her scar strip free time by making a habit of whipping her shirt up and yanking her scar strip off each time that she has her diaper changed. It's amazing how fast that kid moves! We used to try to stop her but now we just accept it and try to remember to put it back on at the end of the diaper change. Worrying about a scar strip is not usually top of my list when dealing with a stinky bum.

It has been 6 and a half weeks now and Lauren's scar looks much less angry already! The photo above when she was in the bath was taken just as we started using the scar strips. The ones below are what her scar looks like now. We are amazed by the improvement!

I love how she's looking at me like it just fell off by itself. Oh, monkey!  

What a gorgeous little girl with a brave warrior wound. I hope she never sees her scar as anything but beautiful.