Dear Lauren,

You are asleep upstairs, snuggled in bed and it gives me a chance to think about Mother's Day. I'm able to celebrate Mother's Day because you were born and this is the last Mother's Day that will be all because of you. Soon you will have a little sister and our lives will change again.

Watching you, we've never thought of you as an only child. You thrive around others and you've always been so social. I can't wait for you to have that special bond that you can only have with a sibling. I've been blessed to have both a brother and a sister and each one of them is so special to me and has played a different role in my life. You will probably only have your sister (I'm getting old, let's face it) and I can already picture you playing, whispering and giggling together.

Right now, you don't understand why I can't carry you or pick you up every time you request it but being eight months pregnant means that this baby tummy is taking up more space than either you or I would like. While I'm excited to have her out to meet her, I also can't wait to be able to pick you up and snuggle you close whenever either one of us wants or needs it again.

During a moment of reflection today I realized that my life is not what I expected and many things haven't gone smoothly, but I am so blessed because I have you and your dad to love. When your dad and I got married, I felt like we were complete. When you came along, I realized that we were actually like one of those puzzles that come without a picture. We had put the pieces together but the picture wasn't actually complete. The pieces that you added complete the parts of our puzzle that didn't have a whole picture. And it makes so much more sense now. Your strange habits make me laugh, your enthusiasm is contagious, your demands are exhausting and your hugs and kisses are the most perfect gift.

Lauren, you have challenged me to become a better person. I would love to say that I am a great mom but I know that I make mistakes. Instead, I can only hope that I am a mom who always shows you how much I love you, no matter how old you get, a mom who takes time to step back and think before I speak and a mom who always encourages you to do your best. I always want you to feel love, gentleness and support from me.

I can promise you that I will do the best that I can as your mom. I realize how blessed I am to have that job and, if I could choose any child in the world to have as my own, I would choose you. I know that God formed you from Day 1 and you are fearfully and wonderfully made. He also gave you to me. You were chosen for me by the maker of the universe and what an amazing gift you are.

Today, on Mother's Day, I thank you for loving me as your mom. Thank you for wanting me to come with you everywhere you go, even if it is only a foot or two away. Thank you for every time you ask me to come and sit with you, for every book that you ask me to read to you and every time you come to me for a kiss on a bump. Thank you for all of the laundry and diapers and hand holding and smiles. Thank you for the running, and jumping and laughing and cuddles. You keep the picture of our lives full and beautiful.

Your dad and I love you today and every day.

Love Mom

1 comment:

  1. So beautifully written Amanda. What a treasure for Lauren to have when she is older.


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